My First Experience

By Adam R.

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The first psychedelic I ever had was the psilocybin mushroom. I learned of the therapeutic and spiritual potential of psychedelic drugs through the podcast Reset with Amber Lyon. What I heard on that show called to me and I put a plan in motion to have an experience. I ended up taking an eighth of mushrooms with a close friend. We had a couple of pals who were experienced with psychedelics watch over us while we took the drugs in their backyard. After some chewing, some cranberry juice, and about forty-five minutes, the mushrooms started to kick in. I was feeling light and loopy. And when I went to take a pee in the nearby grass I discovered that the trees and the sky were lit up with a beautiful blue and green neon. I remember my reaction to this first encounter with psychedelia: I said “huh... interesting... interesting” with eyes wide in astonishment as I drained my bladder. Soon after that, the experience got much more intense. Back in my chair I settled around the fire with my friend’s and began to descend. Gradually I left the backyard and sank into what can be best called a psychedelic sea... colored complexity danced all around me as I went deeper and deeper. This was more than just some set of visuals, it was a place or part of a place… some kind of vast ocean that was enveloping me. I was captivated by this realm’s extraordinary patterns as I went further in. And then at some point, I lost all sense of myself... It was as though these deep waters could not be navigated unless my “self” dropped away. It was not something I decided to let go of, it was more like the sea stripped me of it as I went deeper. “I” no longer experienced the wonderful waters of this world... I was them. I will proceed in this writing using the term “I” but there was no subjectivity, there was only timeless experience.... At a certain point, I came back up, I had to pee, I remember feeling “reality drunk” as I stumbled to relieve myself. As I walked I snapped in and out of worlds, one moment I was in the backyard, and the next I was this pulsing psychedelic realm. When I sat back down I did not come back up for hours. I found my way to what I will call the bottom of sea, to a core. It was experienced as a kind of network. I was the movement of energy traveling through a vast and complex circuitry. I was in union with what I knew to be the center of the universe. My experience became one of being an infinite intelligence. A profundity beyond words. As I regained a sliver of self-awareness toward the end of the trips peak, this was one thing I was able to scrawl onto a page gifted to me by my friend: “Plug into the infinite and the divine.” The experience left an indelible mark on me and has helped form the basis for my spiritual life. Before the trip I was a staunch atheist, and after I wasn't sure...

Jessica Nielson